From The Mouths of Babes
by I Run With Sporks
Summary: Alternatively titled 'An X-Man Versus a Small Child'. In which each of our heroes are forced into a prolonged encounter with a child, and occasionally come away the wiser. (I think the rating's okay, but in case I slip up later, I may change it.)


**This one's actually been sitting around for a while now. Originally I wanted to write a story introducing Vallie and explaining where he came from and got to the Institute first, but it kept becoming longer and longer and more convoluted and in the end I gave up. Maybe someday.**

**I do not own X-Men Evolution, which continues to be a point of extreme frustration to this day. DAMN YOU, COPYRIGHT LAWS!**

Kurt glared.

"I hate you."

The object of his hatred smiled with absolute euphoria, and lunged at him, covering his face in slobber.

"GET OFFA ME! Oh, you _stupid_ mutt..." Kurt wiped the spit off his face and onto his sweater. "Bad dog. Bad dog. VERY BAD DOG."

If dogs could beam, the orange collie at the end of the leash was doing just that.

Valintinehz Alkilinella Gumbotz Shi Shi-Zu Boheretz Gumbeegobella Blue-Stradavadi Talentrent-Pierre y Baldovinci y Something-Something Doitzelkaiser III was the Institute's dog. Everyone _besides_ Rahne, who had come up with the name, called him Vallie.

No one was entirely sure who Valintinehz had belonged to before arriving at Xavier's, but the chemical composition of his saliva suggested his previous owners had no problems with animal experiments and serious issues with mutants. Any mutant exposed to Vallie's spit had their powers suppressed for the next fifteen to twenty minutes. In Kurt's case, however, all that happened was his teleportation being shut off.

"Vhy on Earth did I agree to walk you?" Kurt grumbled, putting the dog in a headlock to avoid being slobbered on for the fourth time in five minutes. "It's Kitty's turn, anyvay! 'Too much homework' my butt, she just didn't want to get vet!"

It had been raining all day with no sign of stopping. Despite the weather, Kurt had agreed to fill in for Kitty to walk the dog. Things were going fine until an unexpected gust of wind blew away his umbrella. He- and the holowatch- got soaked.

The watch, which had been on the fritz lately, promptly shorted out, leaving Nightcrawler and the Four-Legged Wonder Doofus standing in the middle of the (fortunately deserted) playground.

So they were now hiding out under the slide, waiting for the rain to stop and Kurt's spit coating to wear off. That, or a rescue party.

The rescue part, Kurt thought gloomily as Vallie enthusiastically licked the side of his head, was starting to look a lot more likely.

"Zis is ze vorst day ever, in ze history ze vorld."

The rain drummed on the plastic and tin of the slide, making a constant droning rhythm. It was familiar and vaguely comforting. Kurt closed his eyes and tried to meditate, focusing on the sound rather than on Vallie, who had now started on his left ear.

_Rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-__rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-rat-tat-thump-SPLASH-rat-tat-thump-SPLASH-rat-tat-thump-SPLASH-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum..._

Brow furrowed with confusion, Kurt opened one eye.

A small girl stood in front of him, regarding him calmly and with vague interest. The rain hit her purple umbrella and slid off. _Tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum..._

They watched each other in silence for a moment. Then Vallie leapt joyfully toward her and Kurt had to break eye contact to tackle him. The last thing he needed was for people to start claiming mutants set dogs on little kids.

"Oof! Sorry, sorry! I svear he's friendly! His problem is he's a little _too _friendly."

"That's okay," She said placidly, blinking large blue eyes. Then: "You talk funny."

"I do," Kurt agreed, pinning a squirming Valintinehz to the ground. "I'm from Germany. English isn't my first language."

"Where's Germany?"

"It's in Europe, across ze ocean. Dog, _holdstill_!"

"Like England?"

"Uh... sort of."

"Did you know you're blue?"

Kurt stared at her for a moment. She had asked him this question so casually it was almost weird. _'Did you know you missed lunch? And that you're bright blue?'_

"...Yes, actually. I did know zat."

"How come?"

"How... um... vell, it's just how I vas born." _'I think.'_

"Are you an alien?"

"No. I'm a mutant." Best to get that out of the way before her parents came and snatched her up. Maybe she'd tell them mutants weren't actually that bad. As if they'd believe her.

"What's a mutant?"

Kurt went blank momentarily. The little girl pushed a piece of blond hair out of her face and waited.

"...How old are you?"

"I'm six and a half. How old are _you_?"

"Me? I'm sixteen."

"You're really old. Can I pet your dog?"

"Sure, if you don't mind getting slobbered on."

She squatted down and patted Vallie, who licked her hands as best he could with Kurt holding him down. Kurt watched.

Really it wasn't _that _odd the kid didn't know the term 'mutant'. She was little- six, she'd told him. But all the same, the fact that she hadn't freaked out upon seeing him was kind of a nice change.

If weird.

"_JU-LI-ANA!"_ An irritated voice screamed from far away. The little one stood up with a look of exasperation that seemed almost comically out of place on such a small face.

"That's my stupid brother," She explained. "He hates the rain."

"_JUUULIII!"_

"I like it, though." She smiled as though they were sharing a secret. Kurt found himself smiling back.

"I have to go now. Bye- no, wait. How do _you_ say it?"

"_Auf weidersein."_

"Auf we-dur-sayn?"

"Close enough."

Juliana- that seemed to be her name- looked pleased with herself. She set her umbrella down underneath the slide, then waltzed away, mouth opened wide to catch raindrops.

"You forgot your umbrella!" Kurt called after her, while Vallie squirmed.

"I don't want it. You keep it. I like the rain." She hopped forward, splashing through puddles. Then she rounded the corner and was gone.

Kurt picked up the purple umbrella gingerly, poking his head out from his makeshift shelter to judge the weather. Holding the handle between his neck and shoulder, Kurt tapped the almost-dry holowatch, the umbrella shielding from rain. The watch buzzed, then created a human-Kurt hologram. It was a bit fuzzy, but certainly better than nothing.

Kurt released Vallie, then stepped outside, holding the umbrella and tugging the leash.

"C'mon, Vonder Mutt. Let's go home."


End file.
